Take Back My Heart (Come Back To Me) Read online

  Connor saw her. She knew he had, yet he hadn’t tried to say hello. Instead, he pretended she wasn’t even there, and walked away.

  He disappeared from her life once again.

  Remembering how he ignored her back then only added to her hurt and confusion. Lauren slid the ring off her finger and handed it back to Connor. With that, she turned and walked into the house, sliding the lock into place.

  The sound of the lock turning, felt like a bullet to his heart.

  Two days ago, they were happy. They were celebrating, and now, he was alone.

  Lauren’s engagement ring taunted him from the bedside table. It hurt like hell when she handed him back the ring that he and Eliot picked out for her. The woman drove him absolutely mad with her indecisiveness. She should have just said no to his proposal. The rejection then would have hurt a hell of a lot less. Or so he thought.

  He tossed and turned half the night, wondering what he could have done differently, before finally giving in and drowning his sorrows in a bottle of bourbon. Around 2:00 A.M., he made the decision to return the ring to Lauren. He didn’t want the damn ring back. It was hers. She could do whatever she wanted with it.

  An email from Bryce waited for him in his inbox when he woke up the next morning. He gave him the escape he hadn’t even known he was hoping for. Once he returned the ring to Lauren, he would head southwest and pick up his cousin from the airport in Harrisburg. Bryce would be state side for two weeks. Maybe, just maybe, Connor could convince him to take a trip with him, do something crazy. Something to keep his mind off Lauren and his heartache.

  Moving from the bed where he’d finally passed out from the bourbon, he headed to the bathroom and grabbed some Motrin, washing it down with a glass of water before turning on the shower and stepping into the heated water.

  Fuck if he didn’t feel like a pussy, standing in the shower, crying like a little girl.

  The last time he stood in this shower, he had been buried balls deep in his woman as she screamed his name, and exploded around his cock. However, his dick hadn’t received the memo that Lauren wasn’t standing naked in front of him this time. It begged for attention, clearly remembering how it felt to be buried deep inside her.

  His shoulders shook as he let out a sob and punched the shower wall. “Motherfucker.” Pain instantly shot through his fingers and up his arm. Probably not his best idea to punch at tiled wall, but at least the pain in his arm would distract from the ache in his heart for the moment.

  Shutting off the water, he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He made quick work of getting dressed, and then pulled out the box Lauren’s ring had come in. Slipping the ring back into its box, he took a deep breath and glanced back down. Where the ring had sat, a note he had written to her stared back at him. He stuffed the note and the ring box inside a large envelope, and prayed she wouldn’t be home when he stopped by.

  No car was in the driveway when he pulled up to Lauren’s house minutes later. He made quick work of taping the envelope to her door before jumping back into his truck and taking off.

  Connor pulled into the airport parking and checked the clock on the dash. He made it with a few minutes to spare. But when he went in, he found out Bryce’s flight had been delayed. A drink at the airport bar sounded like a great way to occupy his time while he waited. As soon as he took a sip of his beer, his cell phone buzzed as the message icon flashed.

  Lauren: I’m sorry.

  Two words were all she sent him. What the hell was he supposed to do with her apology? Anger and pain bubbled in his chest. Wasn’t he worth more than two simple words? The fact that Lauren didn’t seem to think so made Connor want to beat something. What the fuck had he done to deserve the shit she was dishing out?

  He already said everything he wanted her to know in the letter he left.

  Lauren,

  You’ve always been my heart. You’ve owned me. Even when I was stupid and a coward. This ring belongs to you. I bought it for you. Eliot and I picked it out for you, and he promised you’d love it. I don’t want it back. Keep it. Pawn it to take care of Eliot and the baby. Save it. Do whatever you want.

  I meant every word of what I said to you. I want to be here for you, for Eliot, and for our son. This isn’t how I planned our future happening. Not at all. But I can’t change your feelings. I want you to know, I’ll always love you. And maybe one day you will be ready. I’ll still be here until then.

  I love you.

  ~C

  What he wanted now was to talk to Eliot and let him know that he hadn’t abandoned him, but that was impossible to do when Lauren had been ignoring his calls. He tried one more time, hoping she’d answer after sending him that text message, but it went straight to voicemail. He slammed his phone down with a curse on his lips.

  Lauren would be the death of him, he was sure of it. She failed to realize that she hadn’t just taken her love away from him, but she was taking Eliot from him too. He loved the little boy as if he were his own flesh and blood. What she was doing with Eliot, refusing to let Connor be there for him, after how far they had come…it made Lauren no better than Kyle had been. It made his blood boil to see her behaving so selfishly.

  Connor was convinced that she wanted him to disappear from her life again, but he had told her more times than he could count that he wasn’t going anywhere. He would damn sure spend the rest of his days proving it. If she wanted to fight him on it, like he knew she would, then she’d have a hell of fight on her hands.

  He wasn’t letting go that easily. He needed a break, a moment to step back and re-group, but he wasn’t backing down. Lauren would have to get used to it.

  Downing the beer in his hand, he ordered another— finishing it, he checked his watch and noticed the time. Bryce’s flight should be arriving, if it hadn’t been delayed again. He tossed a tip on the bar and headed toward Arrivals to wait.

  Bryce spotted him as he came through the security gate and into the front of the airport. “Dude, you look like shit.”

  “Thanks for noticing, Bryce,” Conner grumbled.

  “No, seriously. What the hell happened to you, man?” his cousin questioned as they made their way to the car.

  “A lot’s happened since you’ve been gone. Most important—at least in my mind—I’m going to be a daddy, I got engaged, I got un-engaged, and I got dumped. Oh, and Kyle died. So, there’s that.”

  Tossing his bag into the truck, Bryce gaped at Connor in shock. “What the ever lovin’ fuck happened while I’ve been gone? And start from the beginning, because I sure as shit need to know how the world started to fall apart when I was only gone a few months.”

  “I’m going to need more beer to do that. Get in the truck. I’ll drop you off to do whatever you need to do, and you can call me when you’re free. Until then, I’m going to the hotel and taking a fucking nap. This hangover is kicking my ass.”

  Bryce and Connor slid into a booth at a local bar, and started tossing back beers as Connor recounted all the details of what happened since Bryce had been gone. By the time he was done, they had both probably downed a six pack each and Bryce had decided that Connor needed a shot of something stronger.

  “I don’t get what her damn hang up is, man. Does she not understand that I worship the fucking ground she walks on?” Connor slurred his words. Despair clearly written on his face.

  Bryce shook his head after tossing back another shot of Jack. “I don’t know, Connor. I mean, she’s always been a complex girl. Hell if I know what she’s thinking.” Pausing, he fought back a laugh. “Remember how she use to rope us into playing Prince and Princess? She was a diva even back then.”

  “It’s when we started calling her Princess, because she demanded it. We were what, about eight or nine at the time?” Connor rubbed his chest. Thinking about their past made him ache for her more.

  “You might have been, but I was more like thirteen. Probably shouldn’t have even playing with you brats. But I like
d you both for some odd reason,” Bryce teased as he took a swig of his beer. The tormented look on Connor’s face made him feel sorry for his cousin. “This is exactly why I don’t get involved. One night stands with no strings attached are much better for my life style.”

  “You keep saying that, but man, one day someone is going to come along and grab you by the balls, and that’s gonna be it. That tough guy exterior you walk around with is going to go flying right out the window.”

  “Not going to happen. But I can tell you what is going to happen…me and the brunette behind the bar. I’m glad you booked a two-bedroom suite, but I sure hope you brought ear plugs.” Bryce winked.

  Connor rolled his eyes and went back to peeling the label off his bottle. He was too wrapped up in his own sorrow to care that Bryce planned to get laid in the room right next to his. “Fuck. This fucking blows, Bryce.” He bedded enough women, but rarely did he approach sex without a commitment. Each time meant something to him. He was a relationship guy. He wanted a future. He wanted long term and family. Sometimes though, he wished he could be more like Bryce. Maybe his heart wouldn’t be breaking right now if he was.

  “I’m getting us another drink.” Bryce slammed his hand on the table and stood.

  The feisty brunette bartender met him halfway. “Closing time. You missed last call by about fifteen minutes. Sorry boys.” She followed Bryce back to the booth, grabbing their empty beer bottles. Watching the two of them, she placed her hand on her hip and frowned. “You boys aren’t driving, are ya?”

  “God, you sound like such a fucking Yankee.” Bryce laughed. “He’s driving.” He pointed to Connor.

  Connor chuckled when the bartender glared at him, an obviously peeved expression on her face.

  “Christ. No, he’s not driving, GI Joe. Where ya staying? I’ll drop ya off. I can’t let ya drive, and you’ll never get a cab out of here at this rate.”

  “Hold on! Did you just call me GI Joe?” Bryce scowled. “I don’t even know your name!”

  “This oughta be good.” Connor sat back and crossed his arms over his chest, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

  “I believe you called me a Yankee. If I’m a Yankee, then you are GI Joe. Besides, the GO ARMY shirt kind of gives it away there, Joe,” The bartender deadpanned. “You’ve been hitting on me nearly all night. I told ya my name before ya got so intoxicated.”

  “It’s Lacey,” Connor quipped, trying to bail out his clueless cousin.

  “Shit. He’s right. It’s Lacey.”

  “Admit it. You forgot.” Lacey winked at Connor as she wiped down their table. “I mean it though; time to leave. Tyler gets testy if I keep him here too long.” She glanced over her shoulder at the man standing by the door waiting on her.

  Connor stumbled as he stood from the booth. Lacey offered him a steady hand until he could regain some semblance of balance.

  “Hand over the keys.” She held out a hand.

  “Oh, hell no. No one drives my truck.”

  She rolled her eyes. “For fuck’s sake, redneck, don’t go all alpha on me. Give me the damn keys. I’ll drive ya two to wherever you’re staying. Tyler can take me home once ya two are safe and sound.”

  Bryce snorted. “Why do you care so much?”

  “I don’t really, but I’d like to keep my job, and I wouldn’t want something to happen to either of you. I’d feel guilty and I don’t do feelings.” She turned back to Connor. “Now give me the damn keys. I want to get home sometime before the sun comes up.”

  Sober, Connor would have protested more, but drunk, he gave in without any more arguing. After tossing the keys to Lacey, he stumbled out the door with Bryce by his side.

  “We’re staying at the Fairfield Inn on Beacon Hill Boulevard,” Connor offered, his mind distracted by Lauren.

  “Great. Get in and buckle up,” Lacey ordered.

  “Shotgun.” Bryce squealed like he was five.

  “Fuck you. My truck. Get your ass in the back.” Connor groaned. “Asshole.”

  Thirty-six voicemails and seventy-two text messages over ten days. Connor was relentless. Lauren would give him that much. She hoped that if she continued ignoring him, he’d stop trying. It was easier to be mad at him instead of herself when he wasn’t checking in.

  Text message number seventy-three arrived right after she pulled into the parking lot at her obstetrician’s office. He was courteous enough to warn her that he would be joining her at her appointment. Fabulous. No chance of ignoring his presence in a waiting room full of people without appearing childish. Crossing her fingers, she said a prayer that he wouldn’t make a scene.

  Walking in the waiting room, Connor adjusted his tie and smoothed it down against his white dress shirt. His sleeves were rolled up and his hair dark brown hair was slicked back. His gray dress slacks looked like they were tailor made. He could be a model in a GQ ad somewhere. He caught her gaze, and she saw sadness reflected in his eyes. The dark circles under his eyes did not go unnoticed either. Simply put, as stunning as he looked, he still appeared as if he was dying inside.

  “Hey.” She gathered the courage to keep calm, speaking to him when he took the seat beside her. “You came.”

  He gave her a harsh stare. Did she honestly doubt he would show up? It hurt to know she didn’t trust him to keep his word. “I told you I wasn’t running, Princess. I’m here because it’s where I want to be. That baby is mine too.”

  Lauren fought the urge to cry. God, how many tears had she cried in the last six months? Would her tears ever dry up and go away? She was over her hurting heart and constantly feeling vulnerable. “Important business today?” she questioned, paying closer attention to his attire.

  “I’ve got to head back to New York for a few days when we’re done here.” Connor fiddled with his tie. His tone sounded cold and bitter.

  “So you are running again,” she huffed, scooting further from him.

  Connor turned to her and frowned. He snapped in a low voice, “No, you don’t get to do this. Not here, not now, and certainly not after everything you said to me. I’m not fucking running.”

  A nurse stepped into the waiting room and called Lauren’s name, ending their conversation.

  She stood and followed the nurse without giving him a hint as to if he should follow her or not. When he stood, and started toward the exams rooms following Lauren, the nurse stopped him. “Excuse me, but are you with her?”

  “I am,” he confirmed.

  Sensing the tension between the couple, the nurse cleared her throat and replied, “I’m sorry, sir, but unless the mother wants you to come back with her, you’ll need to wait out in the waiting room.”

  He looked to Lauren, quietly begging her to say something. Her silence was the only answer he needed. It was glaringly obvious that she didn’t want him with her. Biting his tongue, he stalked back to his seat, leaning his head back against the wall with an exasperated sigh. Had he made the right choice showing up today? Should he even wait until the end of her appointment for her? Would she even care if he left?

  Conner checked his watch incessantly as minutes ticked by while he tried to find the courage to leave. He could feel the rest of the waiting room shooting curious stares his way, as if he were a ticking time bomb. He sure as hell felt like he was about to explode.

  “Mr. Matheson,” the same nurse from earlier called his name. “Lauren would like you to join her.”

  Relief coursed through him. He stood and didn’t hesitate to follow her. But he wasn’t ready for what he walked into though. Not in the least.

  Lauren was lying frozen on the exam table, tears gleaming in her eyes. His heart lurched in his throat as he waited for someone to say something. He noticed a picture frozen on the monitor next to her, but he couldn’t tell what it all meant. The nurse said the doctor would be in soon and then closed the door.

  Panic took over; Connor shook his head over and over. “No, Lauren. No, not again. Please no,” he whispered.

>   Her eyes went wide in alarm. “No what?” she questioned, struggling to get up.

  “The baby, no…not again.”

  Lauren couldn’t help it, she laughed as a sob escaped. “Oh, Connor, no. Come here. Everything is fine. See.” She pointed to the screen. “Perfectly healthy. Everything is fine. That’s our baby.”

  Connor stared at the screen in shock. “Our baby.” His voice came out in a whisper as a smile played at the corners of his mouth.

  “Ours.” She took his hand and placed it on her belly in time for the little bean to kick her. “And that would be your baby boy.”

  “Already kicking my ass.” He laughed.

  “More like trying to kick some sense into his mommy.” Lauren started to apologize, but was interrupted by the doctor making his way into the room.

  The doctor wasted no time going through the motions; performing his exam: asking all the important questions, checking the baby’s heartbeat, and answering any questions they both had. They shared a relieved smile knowing that everything was going great so far with the tiny baby growing inside Lauren’s womb. The appointment was over quickly and before they knew it they were making their way back to the waiting room to make a follow-up appointment.

  When they made it to the parking lot, Connor pulled Lauren close and kissed her forehead. “I’m going back to New York for a few weeks.” Feeling her tense in his arms, he put a finger under her chin to tilt her head up. Looking into her eyes, he whispered, “I’m not running. If you need me, I’ll be back here the minute you say the word. I’ve got some loose ends to tie up there. I’m selling my condo and working out some kinks with my dad’s company. I’ll be resigning and staying here permanently.”

  “Connor, I-” she stuttered, her eyes wide in shock.

  He shook his head at her. “You don’t have to say anything. I had always planned to stay in Millford when I came back. I just hadn’t gotten around to making it happen.” He glanced at his watch to check the time. “I’ve got to hit the road to make it to my meeting on time. Call me if you want to or if you need anything. I mean it. Tell Eliot I love him. I love you too, and I’ll be back.” He kissed her one last time before jumping in his car and driving out of the parking lot.