Take Back My Heart (Come Back To Me) Read online

  “You’re a really brave kid,” Chief Reynolds praised once they’d finished.

  Special Agent Ryan agreed. “You know what, why don’t you give us a few minutes to talk to your mom? I bet Connor can show you where the vending machines are, and you can grab a candy bar or something. How about that?” He sent Lauren a silent plea. “Give us five minutes, tops.”

  The tiny bit of relief Lauren felt from having Eliot back in her arms, disappeared quickly. The knot in her stomach returned with a vengeance. She had a feeling she wasn’t going to be pleased by whatever Special Agent Ryan was about to say. Eliot tensed beside her, obviously hesitant to leave her side after just being reunited. “You think you could go with Connor and pick out a snack for me? I promise I’ll be right here when you come back. Connor will take good care of you,” she encouraged Eliot.

  “Okay.” He relented quickly and smiled weakly, following Connor out of her room.

  She waited a beat, hoping Eliot was out of ear shot before she spoke. “I’m guessing you want to talk to me about Kyle?”

  “My team encountered Kyle this morning after I received word that Eliot had been retrieved by Chief Ryan’s team. We’d set up a sting operation, and it was going according to plan,” Special Agent Ryan began.

  “I’m sensing a ‘but’ coming.” Lauren steeled herself for whatever may come next.

  “Kyle Forbes was killed this morning during the operation. He pulled a gun on one of my men and began firing,” Special Agent Ryan announced unceremoniously.

  A gasp escaped. “Oh God.” Her ex-husband was dead. Eliot no longer had a father. How in the hell had they ended up here? Lauren felt like the hits kept coming. Never in a million years had she expected this.

  “I’m sorry,” Special Agent Ryan offered. Delivering news like this to someone never got easier. It was the least favorite part of his job, but often had to be done—unfortunately.

  “Can you tell me anything more about what he was involved in? How did this happen?”

  “Ms. Forbes, I apologize, but that information is classified. Again, I’m terribly sorry.”

  Minutes ticked by in silence.

  Connor and Eliot returned, and pain began to wash over Lauren. How would she ever tell her sweet child that he’d never see his father again? How did you tell a child that one of his parents was dead?

  Sobs racked her body as hurt filled her heart.

  Life had turned upside down. No matter how many times she tried to find the words, she couldn’t come up with a way to break the news to Eliot. Connor kept sending her questioning glances, but she shook her head and bit her tongue.

  Dealing with the aftermath of Kyle’s death was one giant cluster fuck.

  Standing in room full of his friends and family, listening to them go on and on about what an amazing person Kyle was, made Lauren want to crawl out of her skin.

  His parents had been nothing but cruel to her since they arrived. They were convinced that Lauren was the reason their golden boy gotten tangled up in drugs and ended up dead. Their anger hung like a thick cloud over everything. They chose to ignore Eliot too, only hurting the child more.

  Eliot had been a mix of emotions since he had heard the news. Sometime in the middle of the night, when she was still in the hospital, he’d been awake and they had been talking. He asked if Kyle would be going to jail for taking him and that’s when she knew she couldn’t keep his death from Eliot a minute longer.

  She held their son as he cried himself to sleep that night, and she was seated next to him now at his father’s funeral, holding on tightly to his little hand. Amy and Riley sat to her right, with Amy’s arm around her shoulders, giving Lauren the strength she needed to focus on Eliot.

  After the graveside service ended, Lauren waited as Eliot placed a final rose on his father’s closed casket. She was just about to turn to leave when Kyle’s mother, Delores, began screaming.

  “You no good bitch! My son is dead because of you!”

  A collective gasp sounded from the lingering guests around them. Lauren was stunned silent.

  “I’ve stayed quiet and bit my tongue for the last three days, but I have had it. Don’t think I haven’t noticed your little show of emotions. Crying for my son. You never loved Kyle. He told us all about you running back to that…that boy who ruined you. It was my son who picked up those pieces for you. My son who put you back together. And you left him! You brain washed that child too!” Delores pointed toward Eliot. “You taught him to hate his own father. To lie about him. Kyle didn’t kidnap him and you know it! They had planned a guy’s weekend up in the mountains and you decided to come up with this elaborate plan to keep Kyle from his son, once and for all. It’s your fault he’s dead!”

  “NO!” Eliot screamed back. “You’re wrong, Grandma, Daddy did take me. I didn’t want to go! He didn’t listen to the police. He was bad! It’s not Mommy’s fault!” Tears streamed down the young boy’s face.

  “See! Lies. Both of you are nothing but liars. My son loved you so much that he couldn’t see how you were destroying him. We tried to warn him, but he wouldn’t listen. It’s over now and I sincerely hope that we never see you two ever again. I hope you rot in hell!”

  Lauren shook her head and turned to Amy. “Take him to the car, please.” She let go of her son’s hand and urged him toward Amy and Riley. “Go, sweetheart. I’ll be there in just a minute.” As Eliot walked away, Lauren prepared herself for what she was about to say.

  “Just leave with your little bratty kid,” Kyle’s mother demanded.

  “Oh, don’t worry, Delores, I will leave. But I not before I say my piece. You can stand here and scream at me, belittle me in front of your family, in front of Kyle’s friends and colleagues. You can spew your fucking lies and hate, but I will not tolerate you pulling Eliot into this mess. That child loved his father will all he had in him. He looked up to Kyle. Up until a few weeks ago, Kyle was a great father. He and I may have had our disagreements along the way, but he always did right by Eliot—until he yanked my son away from me and decided to disappear without a trace for three days! For three days, I sat and waited for a phone call, a text message, anything to let me know that Eliot was okay. Kyle ignored us all.”

  Delores started to speak, but Lauren held up her hand and stopped her. “No, let me finish. Delores, if your son had this whole weekend planned for a ‘guys trip’ with Eliot, you tell me why I get a call from a woman three days later, telling me she has my son. You tell me why Kyle had been holed up in some trailer out in Red Hook, New York, of all places—without a Goddamn lake or stream around. You can believe whatever you want, but Eliot is the real victim here. He’s the one hurting from losing his father. Your son was so messed up on drugs that he stopped caring about that little boy’s safety. He wasn’t heartbroken over me. Christ, Delores, he couldn’t even keep his dick in his pants when we were married.”

  Turning to the people who remained watching their exchange, she screamed. “For two days, I’ve listened to every one of you talk about what a great person Kyle was, what a great husband and father he was, and I kept quiet. I bit my tongue and let our son absorb all the pleasant memories of his father, but none of you knew the truth.” Spinning around to face Delores and Kyle’s father, Jesse, she finished, “You can blame me if that helps you sleep at night, but I sincerely hope that you wake up and realize the truth one day.”

  Amy’s arms wrap around her. “Come on, let’s go,” she encouraged Lauren quietly.

  Lauren sniffled and quickly brushed away the stray tears that began to fall as Amy guided her away from the crowd. Riley was standing on the driver’s side with Eliot wrapped in his arms, he’s body trembled as he sobbed into Riley’s chest. When Lauren approached, Eliot leaned into her instead.

  “I’m so sorry, baby boy,” her voice cracked.

  “Let’s get you two in the car and out of here, what do you say?” Riley held open the rear door.

  Eliot slid in first, moving to the passenger
side where he watched through the window until his father’s grave disappeared from sight. Apart from a sniffle or two from Eliot, the car ride back home was silent. When they turned on to their street, Lauren immediately noticed Connor was sitting on her front porch. She was relieved to see him because she wanted to find comfort in his arms, to let the worry and stress of the day go.

  Riley stopped in front of her house and let them out before pulling into his driveway. “Call me if you need anything.” Amy offered as she shut the car door.

  “Hey,” she said weakly after she and Eliot made their way up to the front door.

  “How’d it go?” Connor asked as he stood to greet her. Waiting for their return had been torture, but they both agreed it was probably for the best if he didn’t go to the funeral.

  “It’s been a long day. It went. I guess that’s all that matters,” she answered, unsure if she wanted to share all the dramatic details with him.

  Connor hissed and stepped back, while Lauren let out a gasp and reached for Eliot.

  “Don’t touch me, Mommy,” the boy snarled. “Leave me alone! I want everyone to leave me alone!” Eliot stomped inside. His bedroom door slammed minutes later.

  Lauren looked up at Connor and fought back her tears. “I’m sorry. I didn’t expect that. He’s been quiet all day. I had no idea,” she whispered.

  “He’s hurting. I’ll go, but call me if you need anything.” He leaned down and gave her a gentle kiss.

  Lauren nodded, unable to speak out of fear that she would completely fall apart. Part of her wanted Connor to stay, to comfort her and take away the pain she felt for her son who had lost his father. But more than anything, she wanted to know how to make things better for Eliot, and how to make him understand that only Kyle was to blame for what happened. Knowing Eliot’s own grandparents filled his head with such false words, stung.

  She went to Eliot’s room as soon as she was inside. “Eliot.” Lauren timidly knocked on his bedroom door, praying he’d let her in. “Sweetheart, can I come in? Please?”

  The door cracked open enough for her to see his red eyes and tear-stained face. “I want to be left alone,” his voice cracked.

  “I understand, but it’s getting late and I wondered if you were hungry. We can order carry out, or I can make you some soup…whatever you want,” she said, in an attempt to draw him out.

  “Not hungry. I just want to be left alone. I don’t want to be here with you. I should be with Daddy this weekend, but instead I’m stuck here with you.”

  Swallowing down the lump in her throat, Lauren fought back her own tears. “You’re never stuck here, sweet boy. I wish your daddy was still here too.” And she did, for Eliot’s sake. “Do you want me to call and see if one of the boys will come over?” Maybe playing with Amy’s boys for a while would help diffuse the situation.

  “Just leave me alone,” Eliot snapped, clearly reaching his threshold. “Go away and leave me alone!” The door slammed in her face again.

  Choking back a sob, she sniffled and shuffled into her own bedroom. Leaving her door open—just in case—Lauren crawled into her bed, buried her head in a pillow, and let out a scream as more tears fell. Soon, she succumbed to the exhaustion of the last few weeks, diving into a fitful sleep. Dreams of Kyle dying, Connor running away, and losing the baby growing in her womb haunted her slumber.

  The next day was more of the same. Lauren got up, made breakfast, and tried to talk Eliot into leaving his room, only to be told to get lost. By lunch time, Lauren had cleaned the whole house—burning off all of her nervous energy.

  This time, when she checked on Eliot though, she didn’t give him a choice. “Eliot, I’m coming in, even if you don’t want me to,” she announced as she pushed the door open.

  Eliot was laying with his back to her, facing the wall. She could hear his sniffles and watched his tiny body shake.

  “I brought lunch. Can I stay and eat with you?” she asked in a hesitant voice.

  “Leave!” he grumbled in response.

  “I love you,” she mumbled as she slowly stepped out and shut his door again.

  The sound of her ringing phone kept her from falling apart momentarily. Connor’s name on the screen made her anxious. She hadn’t talked to him at all after he left the night before.

  “Hello,” she whimpered.

  “Princess, how’s Eliot?”

  Letting out a sigh, she shrugged, even though he couldn’t see her. “More of the same, I guess. He’s pissed off at the world. He wouldn’t eat last night, he refused breakfast. I let myself into his room a few minutes ago and left his lunch by his bed. He was crying but—” The dam broke. “He won’t even let me comfort him,” Lauren sobbed. “How do I make this better, Connor?”

  Connor blew out a breath. “Fuck, Princess, I have no damn clue. I wish I did. I wish I could do something for him. For you. Give him some time. What can I do for you?”

  “I don’t know,” Lauren cried. “I just don’t know.”

  Connor rubbed the ache in his chest. He’d spent nearly five days of pure hell with Lauren, comforting her, loving her with all he had. He hadn’t planned on losing her all over again when Eliot came home. In fact, he had hoped for the opposite. Since their lives had collided again, they hadn’t had much time to talk, but when they had, he agreed to give Lauren space. She wanted to focus on Eliot. He didn’t blame her for that, but he wanted to be there for her too.

  “I should go.” Lauren exhaled loudly. They said their goodbyes, and she disconnected the call.

  Wrapping her arms around herself, she sat down on the couch, watching as the screen on her phone went black. Tears continued to stream down her face as loneliness seeped in.

  Lauren wasn’t alone with her thoughts for long before a knock sounded at the door. “Amy?” Relief swept through her at seeing her best friend standing on her porch.

  “Connor called. He thought you might want some company. Don’t be mad, but he told me what happened. And well, here I am,” Amy explained as she stepped inside the house.

  There were no words. Instead Lauren collapsed into her best friend’s arms and released all her frustrations. Every tear she had cried alone, came back tenfold. Amy, bless her, stood there and tried to comfort her as she fell apart.

  When her sobs turned to hiccups and sniffles, Lauren finally lifted her head. “I feel so alone,” she croaked. “I feel guilty for wanting Connor here. I feel guilty for wanting Kyle back. Guilty for not being able to make things better for Eliot. I feel like this whole damn thing is my fault.”

  “Girl, listen to me and make sure you hear me.” Amy pushed her friend backwards, holding her at arm’s length. “None of this is your fault. None. You know that, I know that, and sooner or later, that little guy is going to understand that too. You can’t beat yourself up because Kyle screwed up.”

  “Eliot hates me. He blames me.”

  “He doesn’t hate you. He might think he does, but he doesn’t. He’s hurt, angry, and confused. Plus, he’s almost ten. That’s a tough age. Hell, it’s all downhill from here. Avery thinks he hates me nearly every day. It’s a teenager thing.” Amy spoke from experience. “Let him grieve. And if it were me— please don’t hate me for this—but I’d think about getting him an appointment with a therapist. Sooner rather than later. Give him a day or two more to hole himself up in his room, then force him to get up and move forward.”

  “I didn’t sign up for this. I never wanted this. Kyle was a good guy— most of the time. I mean, he was a good father who loved his son, and Eliot doesn’t deserve to grow up without his daddy.”

  “Lauren, you’re right about all of it, but what you and Eliot are both going to have to realize is that neither of you are alone right now. You can lean on all of us. Connor too. If he’s going to be a part of your life, then Eliot is going to have to accept it. I’m not saying it will be today or tomorrow, but in time.”

  “I can’t even think about Connor right now. I’m torn when it comes to
him. I’m grieving my ex, the father to my son, while I want to curl up in the arms of the father of my unborn child. How fucked up is that?” The minute the words left her mouth, Lauren realized that she’d let her secret slip. In the midst of all the chaos, she had completely forgotten to tell her best friend she was pregnant.

  Amy held her hand up to stop her from speaking further. “Don’t. I heard you, and I’m going to let it slide. I’m going to assume you just found out and that Connor already knows, which would explain his worry even more. But with everything going on, I’ll look past the fact that you forgot to mention it.” She cracked a smile. “I’m actually a little bit excited that my bestie is having a baby!”

  “Mommy,” Eliot’s weak voice drew both women’s attention. “You’re having a baby?”

  The color drained from Lauren’s face as she turned to face her son. The same small boy who hadn’t left his room in twenty-four hours. His face was devoid of all emotion, while her heart was about to beat out of her chest.

  “I am. I found out at the hospital,” she offered meekly.

  Eliot’s eyes filled to the brim with tears again. “I hate you. I hate you! You’re replacing Daddy with Connor, and now you’re replacing me too! You didn’t even tell me! I hate you!” he lashed out, screaming.

  Lauren stood frozen in place, unsure of what to do or say.

  “Now wait just one minute,” Amy demanded, marching up to him and gently grabbing his shoulders. “Eliot, I know you’re upset, but you need to stop this. Right now, you and your mommy are all that you’ve got. And I can tell you, your father wouldn’t want you acting this way.”