Take Back My Heart (Come Back To Me) Read online

  All the more reason why he shouldn’t have been the least bit surprised to see Lauren at the soccer game Riley had invited him to. Still, he was shocked to find her on those old wooden bleachers, her long brown hair pulled up in a messy bun atop her head with little wisps blowing free in the warm June breeze.

  Judging by the expression on her face, she was just as shocked to see him.

  "Sorry. Riley invited them. They've hung out a few times since Connor and Bryce have been back in town,” Amy offered in explanation as she felt Lauren tense beside her.

  "Remind me to thank Riley for that later." She glanced at her best friend.

  "Hey, Princess." Bryce smiled as he slid in beside her and gave her a gentle shove. "I've missed you."

  "Yeah. Yeah, hot shot. How's Army life been? We didn’t get a chance to talk the last time I saw you. I’m assuming you haven’t given it up yet."

  They were entering their freshman year of high school when he joined the Army and left for boot camp. From what she heard here and there over the years, not much had changed.

  "Busy and crazy. I’ll be shipping out again soon, but we should catch up before I leave. You know, like old times." He glanced at Connor. "I'm sure we've got lots to catch up on."

  "Ha, yeah. I'll think about that." Lauren shifted her gaze briefly to Connor, who nodded and smiled weakly at her. "How's the arm?" she asked him casually.

  He held up his arm and grinned. "Good as new. Did you get the sink fixed?"

  "Glad to hear it; and no, I ended up having Kyle fix it for me," Lauren answered and turned around in time to see her son, Eliot, score a goal for his team. She jumped from her seat and cheered, while Eliot looked toward her and shook his head with a laugh. She could see him roll his eyes and knew he was probably embarrassed, but she didn’t care. It was her right as his mom to cheer him on, obnoxiously.

  Connor kept quiet the rest of the game. Occasionally, Bryce would make small talk with Lauren or Amy, which Connor tried to listen to, but he couldn’t seem to focus on anything except Lauren. He knew when he left her that he had made the biggest mistake of his life.

  When the game ended, Lauren and Amy joined the other moms to hand out snacks and drinks to the team while the coaches and dads made small talk.

  "Connor, long time no see. You too, Bryce. It's been years." Kyle extended his hand when Connor and Bryce made their way over to where he and Riley were standing. “You both back for good?”

  Lauren watched their exchange and felt the tiniest bit of guilt when Connor's face paled, probably about the time he realized she and Kyle shared the same last name these days. Granted, they had been divorced for a while, but she hadn’t bothered changing her name because of Eliot, and she neglected to give Connor that piece of information. Her ears perked up when she heard Kyle ask if Connor or Bryce would be sticking around. She wasn’t sure if she wanted them to stick around, and maybe give things another shot with Connor, or if she’d be happier without either of her old friends in her life again. Connor’s presence stirred up too many confusing emotions for her. Deep down, he made her secretly want more, even if her brain screamed ‘NO!’

  Connor’s face pinched and he let out a breath as he fought the ache in his chest. His grandmother had warned him that Lauren had gotten married, but she never said who. That night in the ER, she told him her name was Forbes, but it hadn’t clicked until he saw Kyle’s face. The bastard had moved on to Connor’s girl. Out of all their friends, Kyle was the last person he ever wanted Lauren to end up with. That man always carried a chip on his shoulder, and Connor knew it was only a matter of time before he blew. And while Kyle had always been loyal to their little group, Connor had never fully trusted him.

  "Oh, come on, Lauren. Put him out of his misery for crying out loud." Amy nudged her and laughed. "I cannot believe you didn't tell him you were divorced. He's still digging you. Even I can see that clear as day."

  "Oh no. After he abandoned me at your house—what, two days after I’d been nearly destroyed by our loss? He didn't even bother to get in touch! Let him suffer." The hurt she felt as a scared eighteen-year-old, bubbled back to the surface.

  "Whatever, Lauren, but if he's gonna be around for a while, maybe you should try to make amends.”

  Lauren huffed, “Right, because he was such a gentleman when he left.”

  Lauren didn't have a chance to say anything more since Eliot walked over and grabbed her hand. "Mommy, who is Daddy and Uncle Riley talking to?"

  "Oh, um,” she hesitated, still lost in her own thoughts about Connor. “They are some people that we both knew when we were your age."

  "Oh cool! I bet they have lots of cool stories about you and Daddy, huh?" Eliot exclaimed before running the short distance to where his dad was standing.

  "Shit," Lauren mumbled, and quickly followed behind.

  Kyle was giving out introductions by the time Lauren made her way over. She couldn't decipher the expression on Connor's face when Kyle introduced Eliot as their son. For a minute, she thought he might actually be trying to calculate Eliot’s age. Lauren tried to hold back her anger, hoping that Connor wouldn’t honestly believe she would lie about something that nearly destroyed her.

  Anyone could look at Eliot and tell he was Kyle’s son. At almost ten years old, he was taller than half the kids his age. His blond hair matched Kyle’s. Heck, they even wore it in the same spiked style. Eliot’s face was an exact replica of his father’s, with the exception of his caramel colored eyes that matched Lauren’s.

  Connor’s eyes locked on to hers; his baby blues had a way of turning the deepest shade of navy when he was hurt. It seemed as if time hadn’t changed her ability to read his emotions. If there was any doubt that he felt out of place, it became clear when he nudged Bryce to say goodbye and quickly made an escape.

  Barely sparing Lauren a second glance, he and Bryce made their way to his car with his shoulders slumped in defeat. Kyle Forbes had everything Connor had always wanted. If he didn’t get the hell away from them all, he was sure to do something stupid and childish, like kick the shit out of the man who stole his whole world.

  Seeing the pain etched on Connor’s face, Lauren felt the urge to go after him, but she didn’t have time to dwell on the situation. No, she needed to get Eliot’s soccer equipment and load it into the back of her tiny black SUV, like all the other parents, while Eliot and his team helped the coaches load the goals and cones back into the tiny storage shed at the field house.

  She had just tossed the last of Eliot’s gear into her trunk when her son ran up to her and wrapped his arms around her excitedly. "Bye, Mommy. Daddy says we're having pizza tonight. Jason and Avery are going to spend the night too. I can't wait."

  Lauren smiled. "The sounds like a lot of fun. You boys make sure to behave yourselves, okay? I'll see you on Sunday," she said as she leaned down and kissed his forehead. Eliot nodded and ran off. "I love you!" she called after him.

  He turned and smiled, shouting 'I love you' back at her.

  Kyle approached and leaned against her car casually. "Pick him up after church Sunday?"

  "Sounds good. Have fun tonight. I hope they behave for you," she replied.

  "I'm sure they will. Try and enjoy your weekend," he said as he gave her a gentle hug and marched away.

  After climbing in her car, she headed toward her house in need of some relaxation. First order of business entailed grabbing a glass of wine before she settled into bed with a good book for the night. She was desperate to get her mind off Connor Matheson, and if that meant she’d down the whole bottle of wine, then so be it.

  Before he stepped foot back in town, Connor knew Lauren had been married, so why was he sitting here feeling sorry for himself? How many times did his grandmother beg him to stay? How many times had she encouraged him to apply for college at Penn State or one of the other local colleges? He had his chance, but had convinced himself that he needed to chase his dreams, far away from the tiny little town he once called home.


  He’d been gone a little more than four months when the same bastard who was standing by Lauren’s side now called and told him bring his ass home.

  The memory of that lone phone call still haunted him.

  Seeing Lauren laying in a hospital bed, sobbing and hearing her confirm that they had a child together was a shock to his system. But hearing that his child’s heart stopped beating? That was the biggest kick in the gut for Connor. How could he have fucked up that bad that he’d gotten Lauren pregnant?

  That wasn’t in the plan.

  No, he had left for college to give her a chance to chase her dreams. He knew that she loved him. And he loved her. But had he stayed, they would have ended up married and she would have been barefoot and pregnant while Connor chased his dreams and supported his family.

  She would have put her life on hold for him.

  He knew she would have been happy raising babies and greeting him at the door each day after work. But he also knew that Lauren had dreams of going off to nursing school. She wanted a career as much as she wanted a family.

  By leaving, he thought he was giving her a chance to go after what she wanted.

  He waited in her room while they wheeled her away to an operating room, and was right there when she opened her eyes after surgery.

  He’d never felt so torn in his life. Guilt consumed him. A part of him was relieved that it was all over. He hoped that meant they could both move on. Part of him was wrecked over the idea that Lauren had been pregnant with his child, and that his child died before he even had a chance to meet him. Most of all, he found himself hurting because Lauren had believed keeping the truth from him was the best choice.

  He felt angry, wondering if she would have ever told him about their baby. If Kyle hadn’t called him, would he have known? If the baby made it, would she have told him? Or would he have come back one day to find Lauren raising a child that was his? A child he would have dropped everything to care for.

  As angry as he was with Lauren, part of him also blamed himself for never checking up on her when he left. Maybe if he had called, she would have told him sooner, and yet he thought pulling the band aid off all at once, was best for both of them.

  Lauren was stoic and cold after he brought her home from the hospital. They barely spoke to one another, and she did all she could to avoid him. Lost in his own emotions, he left a few days later and never looked back.

  At the time, he was so upset and hurt about the baby that he didn’t want to be near her. He came home and buried himself in school, work, and meaningless women. His girlfriend at the time was waiting for him when he got back to New York, but when she found out why he left, she stormed out – calling it quits.

  His life was meaningless and empty at that point.

  But then his grandmother died, which forced him to come back home in order to take care of things. Bryce took leave from the Army to keep him company and help him fix up the old house.

  Now he wondered if getting hurt and going to the ER the day he cut his arm was either a blessing or a curse.

  The only thing he knew for sure, after seeing Lauren with her son and husband, he wanted to drown his sorrows in a case of beer.

  Lauren rolled over in her queen size bed and stretched, reaching for her cell phone which was ringing on her bedside table. She glanced at the screen, but didn't recognize the number; therefore, she let the call go to voicemail, and then made her way into her tiny kitchen.

  The room felt cheery with yellow walls and white cabinets, and her favorite appliance, the coffee pot, made this one of her happy places. This morning, she needed a cup of coffee with her favorite vanilla creamer and two sugars stirred in. While she waited for her coffee to brew, she popped a blueberry bagel in the toaster and pulled the cream cheese out of the stainless steel refrigerator.

  Her little house wasn’t much, but it was hers. It had everything she needed for her and Eliot to get by. She had a fenced in yard with a swing set where Eliot played. Almost everything in the house had been updated before she moved in. Thanks to Amy, who knew the previous owners, she’d also been able to buy it for a lot less than other houses in the area. Another one of her favorite things about her house was its location. Having her best friend right across the street made it hard to resist putting in an offer.

  When she and Kyle first got married, he had tried relentlessly to convince her to become a stay at home mom. In theory, she loved the idea, but in the end, she was glad she stood her ground and kept her job. She’d been able save quite a bit of money, which came in handy when she finally left him. His insistence of keeping their accounts separate worked in her favor.

  She took pride in being able to stand on her own two feet and provide for her son after she divorced Kyle. Her determination to chase her dreams, pursue her degree, and become a nurse, had set her up for a safety net she never knew she’d needed.

  With the coffee brewed and her bagel layered with cream cheese, she stepped onto the back porch to enjoy the morning sun. Settling into the oversized patio chair, she took a breath of the fresh morning air. The sun was warm on her skin as she soaked in the peaceful sounds of the birds chirping. The sounds of nature calmed her soul.

  Once she had finished eating, she decided she would check her voicemail while she was thinking about it. Bryce's voice came through, leaving his number, and asking for her to call him back so they could get together.

  She hesitated briefly. It had been a long time since she had last hung out with Bryce, and if she went, there was a good chance Connor would be there. Was it fair to punish Bryce for Connor’s mistake? Bryce hadn’t been the one who walked away from her. By the time everything fell apart, he was on his second deployment. And unlike his younger cousin, Bryce had the decency to keep in touch through letters.

  Taking a deep breath, she pressed the call back number. Bryce answered on the second ring. “Hey Princess. Turns out I’m gonna be leaving sooner than I thought, so I wanted to get the gang together tonight.”

  “Tonight?” she asked, and then paused for a second. “I mean, I guess tonight is as good as any. It’s just, well…I’m guessing Connor’s going to be there?”

  Bryce chuckled. “Well, yeah. He’ll be here. Amy and Riley are stopping by too. It’s not like you two will be alone. I don’t know what happened between you two, but you were inseparable at one time. Now I feel like I’m picking up mixed signals all over the place.”

  “It’s complicated, Bryce. There is a lot you don’t know. He hurt me. I’m not the same naïve girl I once was.”

  “Look, I hear you. I just thought we could all get together for old time’s sake. It’s not often that I’m in town,” he snapped with a little more attitude than he intended. “Sorry. I won’t twist your arm. If you feel up to it, I can pick you up around six. If not, maybe some other time.”

  Lauren’s voice cracked. She felt mixed emotions about spending any length of time around Connor, but worried that she had upset Bryce. “Pick me up around six. Just for you Bryce,” she teased, hoping to ease some of the tension she had created.

  Before disconnecting the call, Bryce wrote down Lauren’s address and promised to see her at 6:00 P.M. sharp.

  Lauren wiped away a tear that had escaped and closed her eyes for a moment. Her chest ached as she thought about the last time all her friends were together. Amy, Riley, Connor, and even Kyle had shown up to wish Connor well before he left for NYU. Bryce was stationed somewhere halfway around the world, but still managed to call in briefly to wish him good luck as well. They had all hung out around Grandma Matheson’s pool, had a bonfire, and when everyone else fell asleep, she snuck into Connor’s room. That was the night that everything changed.

  She was stronger now. She was a survivor. If she could be civil—friendly even—with her bastard of an ex-husband who stuck his dick in anything that walked, then surely she could suck it up and play nice with Connor for one night. Besides, Amy and Riley would be there for backup.

&nbs
p; Decision made, she downed the rest of her coffee and went back inside. She may have to suffer tonight, but until Bryce picked her up, she would not allow herself to think about any of it. Her Saturday routine would keep her focused. Flicking on her favorite playlist, she docked her iPod, turned the music up loud, and got to work.

  On the weekends that Eliot stayed with Kyle, the house was too quiet. She enjoyed that silence for the first thirty minutes or so, then she needed background noise. That’s where her favorite playlist came in.

  She relished the small break from being a single mother; it gave her a chance to catch up on the things she neglected. It gave her a chance to breathe, to recharge her batteries. When Eliot was with her, they were constantly on the go, between his sports and school functions. She wouldn’t have it any other way though. She lived for being his mom.

  Throwing the last load of laundry into the washer, Lauren checked the time on her cell phone. With her chores finished, she had enough time for a nice long bubble bath, and maybe even finish reading the book she had started the night before.

  Drying off from her bath, Lauren padded into her room and began searching for something to wear.

  She was pulling on her favorite teal t-shirt when she heard a loud knock at her front door. After feeling anxious earlier, she was beginning to feel excited about catching up with Bryce. He was the older brother she always wished for and never had.

  Lauren checked the mirror one last time before opening the door. Her long brown locks were down and curled at the ends, and she’d even pulled out a pair of faded skinny jeans from her closet. Her makeup was a little heavier than normal; the darker brown eye shadow made her eyes pop without screaming that she was trying to impress anyone. Not knowing exactly what Bryce had planned for the evening, she wanted to be ready for anything.