Take Back My Heart (Come Back To Me) Read online

  "Looking good, girl." Bryce gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek.

  "Thanks. You clean up pretty good yourself.” She smiled when she saw him dressed in khakis and a grey polo shirt. He had shaved and got a haircut since she saw him the day before too. “Let me just pull on a pair of shoes.” She moved to the closet near her front door.

  “Keep it comfy. I don’t think we’re going anywhere fancy.” He winked at her.

  Sliding on a pair of comfortable brown sandals, she followed him out the door to his car. Once she was in, he made his way to the driver's side, backed out of her driveway, and headed down her street. When they hit the back roads, Bryce sped up a little. They had sat in silence until Bryce spoke up. “He’s still in love with you. You know that, right?"

  "I'm sure.” Her voice dripped with sarcasm as she rolled her eyes before turning her head to stare out the window to avoid Bryce.

  "Lauren, I kid you not. He talked about you night and day after he moved. I know he asked Gran about you at least a dozen times or more, and believe me when I tell you that he's had his fair share of opportunities with the ladies. But it always comes back to you. He's always had his heart set on you."

  "Then why didn't he call, Bryce? Not one damn time did he take the time to pick up the phone and call me. And he couldn’t bother to write a letter either. He left me two days after I lost our baby without so much as a goodbye. He never came back to visit. I still believed that he'd be back the next summer, or even winter break. When he left for college, he promised he’d be back. When he left after I lost the baby, he never corrected me when I said I'd see him then. I gave him my heart, and all he did was toss it aside. And don’t think I didn’t notice how he was mentally calculating Eliot’s age. Did he actually think I lied about the whole thing? That I’d kept his child from him all this time?"

  “Wait! What? Back up. What baby?” Bryce pulled the car over so he could look straight at her.

  “Oh, even better. I guess he didn’t tell you about everything that happened.” Lauren shook her head in disbelief. “We hooked up before he left. I screwed up and didn’t tell him as soon as I found out I was pregnant, but then morning sickness hit hard. My parents found out and were pissed. They kicked me out and that’s when I tried to get in touch with Connor so I could let him know. Kyle is actually the one who got in touch with him when I was in the hospital, losing our baby.”

  "Shit!” He slammed his hand down on the steering wheel. “I had no idea. I was gone most of the time he was in college. I only know that whenever I talked to him, he always mentioned how much he missed you and how much he wondered how you were doing." Bryce shrugged. "He was pretty devastated last night when he realized who you married, and that you had a kid."

  "What was I supposed to do, Bryce? Wait for him to come back?"

  "I didn't say that. Look, Princess, I didn't mean to upset you.” He reached for her hand, giving it a squeeze. "I'm only telling you what I know. He came home last night, slamming doors, and throwing down beers. Next thing I know, he’s pouring two glasses of Jack and bitching at me about how you moved on with your life. At the end of the day, I want to see both of you happy; and right now, he's pretty miserable."

  Lauren hesitated before she said, "You know I'm not married anymore, right?"

  Bryce grinned like a Cheshire cat, his blue eyes dancing with mischief. "I didn’t know that. And I am pretty sure Connor doesn’t either."

  "Don't look so happy, Bryce," she teased. "I don’t know what to do.” Having Connor back in town stirred up so many mixed emotions inside her. Hurt and anger always seemed to be at the forefront, but sadness consumed her as well. Deep down, she knew she wasn’t the same after she fell for Connor, but she convinced herself to bury those feelings and move on with Kyle. She never thought he’d come back home, or that she’d feel something for him after all this time.

  Bryce had already pulled back onto the road when Lauren finally spoke again, asking where they were meeting everyone.

  "Uh....um...here," Bryce whispered as he turned off the road and into a driveway.

  "Bryce!" Lauren growled. "Seriously? I cannot believe you did this! It feels like a total set up." Of all the places he could have chosen for them to hang out, he picked the place that held so many memories for her. Her heart rate sped up as her annoyance with Bryce and his little plan for everyone to get together grew.

  Ignoring her tantrum, he took the drive down the mile-long driveway at a snail’s pace. When his grandparents’ house came into view, Lauren could feel her childhood rushing back to her. The lawn was still lush and green after all these years. It made her wonder if Mrs. Matheson, Bryce and Connor’s grandmother, kept the same landscaper her late husband had hired when he fell ill. There was no way the older woman could have handled the maintenance on their three-acre plot without help. The white Victorian house stood proud with its black shutters and trim. The wrap around porch led to the backyard where she’d spent many summers swimming in the in-ground pool with Connor and the rest of the gang.

  It looked just as pristine as Lauren remembered.

  Lauren didn't wait for Bryce to open her door; instead, she got out and took a deep breath before heading toward the house. She wanted to turn around and run back home, but that would mean admitting Connor affected her. If she pretended her heart wasn’t about to beat out of her chest, that she wasn’t the least bit interested, maybe she could make it through the next few hours.

  Connor opened the front door before she could raise her hand to knock.

  "I'll give you two a minute. If you need me, I'll be putting the steaks on." Bryce slid past them. Before he walked away, he addressed Connor, “You and me, we need to talk later.”

  Connor nodded and then turned back to Lauren. "Will you take a walk with me?”

  She wanted to scream back at him and refuse, but gazing into his eyes, she saw something that urged her to accept. The way he grabbed the back of his neck and watched her carefully told her he was nervous as well. With a slight nod, she followed behind him.

  "Granny kept up with this garden all these years. You know, she still used the same landscaper that Grandpa hired when he got sick? His son is running the company now, but the work is just as great as the old man’s," Connor said as they walked through the garden surrounded by bright pink roses, white daisies, and Lauren’s favorite, purple lilies.

  Lauren nodded, listening as he continued to talk about his grandparents and his childhood memories. When it seemed he’d run out of those memories, he moved on to all the trouble he and Bryce used to get into when they were younger.

  The sun began to dip low in the sky and a gentle breeze made the flowers sway, making their scent stronger as the breeze carried the sweet perfume to Lauren’s nose. In any other circumstance, it would have been romantic, but instead, it was nerve-wracking.

  She wasn’t ready to talk yet. She didn’t trust herself not to fall apart. Not yet. She welcomed the sound of his voice filling in what would otherwise be awkward silence. Eventually though, the conversation came back to her when Connor asked about her life after he left.

  “Enough about me. Tell me about you since…” His voice trailed off. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest as if his defenses were on high alert. Would she tell him that he’d hurt her? Would she say she was happy? And what about Kyle? Would she tell him about their life together? He was as anxious as he was angry, even if he had no right to be angry at Lauren for moving on.

  “Do you really want to do this here, Connor? And while we’re at it, why don’t you ask me what you really want to know? Eliot isn’t yours. He’s nine, not fourteen, you asshole! I got pregnant with him after I finished nursing school. Kyle and I aren’t married anymore either.” Lauren started to walk away.

  “Lauren, wait.” Connor reached for her hand. “What are you talking about? I know he’s not ours. I wasn’t calculating his age. Jesus, give me some credit. I know Eliot isn’t mine! I was there, remember? I held your han
d when you came out of surgery. I was the only one in that room.”

  Tears rolled down Lauren’s face as her mind went back to that night.

  The doctor stepped back in the room confirming Lauren’s worst fear. There was no heartbeat. Her baby was gone. She’d have to have surgery to remove the fetus.

  Her parents were so angry that she had gotten pregnant, they turned their backs on her. She had been staying at Amy’s when it all happened. But now, she was lying in a hospital bed, in a sterile room…alone.

  They had just started her IV when she heard a knock on the hospital room door. “Come in.” Lauren’s breath caught in her throat when she saw Connor standing on the other side, staring at her with pain in his eyes. “Connor,” she wept. “You came back.”

  “Kyle got a hold of me. He told me that I needed to get back here quick because something was wrong with our baby.” He practically growled. “Our baby? Lauren. Christ. Couldn’t you have told me before now?”

  “Connor, I –“

  He sighed. “Forget it. Not here. Just tell me, what’s going on?”

  Lauren wept harder as she told Connor the news, “Our baby…” She sniffled. “There’s no heartbeat. I have to have surgery now.”

  “Shit! Damn it!” He dropped into the chair beside her bed and put his head in his hands. “I’m sorry, Lauren,” he whispered.

  She never had a chance to ask what exactly he was sorry for. The doctor came in with forms for her to sign, and as he left, the nurses arrived to take her to the OR.

  When she woke up, Connor was still there, holding her hand as tears poured down his face. He took her back to Amy’s house when she was discharged, and then stayed one night before he left again. She was in too much pain, physically and emotionally, to even try to talk to Connor while he was there.

  “Yeah, I remember. I also remember how you walked away two days after it all happened, and how I never heard from you after that.” She tried to yank her hand away, but Connor pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her.

  It wasn’t only Connor who had abandoned her. Her own parents had kicked her out when they found out she was pregnant. They told her that if she was old enough to be a parent, then she was old enough to care for herself. Part of her selfishly blamed Connor for that too. If he had used a condom, maybe it would have never happened. Even though they were both consenting adults and she should have known better too, she still chose to blame Connor.

  “I know, I’m an ass. Okay? I’ve lived with that regret every damn day. I didn’t know where to go from there. I was seeing someone else, and finding out you were pregnant took me by surprise. Not only that, I was pissed off at you for keeping me in the dark. It hurt knowing you had to go through it all alone, and that you thought you couldn’t tell me. For so long, I couldn’t look back without feeling like I was dying. I didn’t know how to fix things back then, and hell, Lauren, I still don’t know how to fix it.” He tilted her chin up to meet her gaze. “What you think you saw yesterday was actually me filled to the brim with regret and jealousy. Eliot could have been mine. I could have been the man you married.”

  “At first, I believed that if I told you, you’d come running back and it would ruin your future. After we left the hospital, I blamed myself for everything that happened. I thought that maybe if I had told you I was pregnant, maybe our baby would have made it. I couldn’t help feeling like I was being punished for keeping you in the dark.”

  “Don’t do that to yourself, Lauren. Don’t blame yourself for something what was beyond our control.” He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, his heart aching over the fact that she blamed herself for their baby dying. He should have stayed and helped her cope. They could have leaned on each other, if only he wasn’t so stubborn and hell bent.

  "All right. All right. The party has arrived!" They could hear Riley’s cheery arrival all the way from the garden on the side of the house. “I brought the beer. Where do you two punks want this?" he called out.

  Connor plastered on a fake smile and whispered to Lauren as he headed to greet their friends. “We’ll talk later.”

  Lauren nodded in agreement, following behind him.

  The minute they were in the door, Amy pulled her to the side. “You two looked awfully cozy walking out of the garden when we pulled in. Everything okay?”

  "I’m good. We were only talking. No kids tonight?" Lauren asked, using her favorite niece and nephews as a distraction to change the subject.

  "The boys are still with Kyle, and my mom wanted a night with the little diva. Who was I to argue?" Amy winked. "Come on. Let’s go find the blender and make some drinks."

  She laughed, letting Amy lead the way.

  Glancing around as they made their way to the kitchen, Lauren noted that someone had certainly been busy downstairs. Fresh paint in neutral colors coated the rooms. The large kitchen had been redone as well. The once antique appliances had been replaced with newer, state of the art ones. New cabinets lined the walls, and a gorgeous black and white granite counter top had replaced the old stained brown Formica countertop.

  Taking it all in, she had to admit, she felt a little kitchen envy, but then reminded herself that she was happy with what she had. She didn’t need anything other than her tiny space.

  Drinks flowed freely the rest of the night as they all caught up on old times and indulged on all the food Bryce and Connor had whipped up.

  Connor watched the girls laughing, recounting stories from their pasts. He watched as Lauren’s face lit up with a smile brighter than the stars. Her eyes had lightened to the sweetest toffee color and twinkled as they shared memories.

  Amy and Lauren met the first day of kindergarten, and had been inseparable ever since; even if they couldn’t be more opposite.

  Lauren was typically quiet and reserved. Amy was bold and loud. Lauren had curves, where Amy’s petite body would never reveal that she already had four children. Her sort pixie cut was bleach blonde and shocking in comparison to Lauren’s long brown locks. Amy’s brown eyes could never hold a candle to Lauren’s either. Amy may have turned many heads back in the day, but even back then, Connor only had eyes for Lauren. Riley on the other hand, followed Amy around like a lost puppy until she finally gave in and agreed to go with him to senior prom.

  Riley had changed since high school too; he’d lost close to a hundred pounds and now had enough muscle on his body to rival both Connor and Bryce. His sandy blond hair was shaggy and covered his ears. He looked like a surfer with his hair and naturally tanned skin. The changes were so drastic that when Riley showed up for the funeral for Connor’s grandmother, Connor almost didn’t recognize him.

  "Wait, wait." Amy giggled. "Remember that time that we dared you boys to go skinny dipping in the middle of the night.” She gasped for air between laughs.

  "Yeah, and your Granny and Grandpa came rolling out and caught you," Lauren chuckled.

  Connor grumbled, "Yeah, you girls hid in the pool house all night. We were going to leave you there, but Riley knew Amy would never let him kiss her again. That’s why he finally snuck back out to let you know the coast was clear."

  "You know, boys...I think the ladies here owe us for that night." Riley smirked. "What do you say, fellas? Should we make them strip down and go for a swim?"

  Lauren's eyes widened, and Amy smacked Riley across the arm. “Not a chance in hell, buddy. For one thing, it's too cold tonight for that crap, and for another, I would not want these two…" Amy pointed to Bryce and Connor, "to try to take me from you when they see all I'm offering." She laughed again.

  "They have a hot tub, and we could even give you both a ten-minute head start." Riley kept digging.

  "That's enough of that," Connor said as he got up and headed into the kitchen. "Let it go, Riley,” he warned. His tone was defensive, and it was clear he meant business by the glare he aimed at his friend.

  Grabbing the edge of the cool counter top, Connor took a deep breath, calming his emotions. The knuckles
on his hands turned white from his grip. He’d had enough to drink. It was past time to cut himself off and get his anger in check. He knew Riley was only teasing, but the thought of Lauren stripping down set him on edge. And not only because he didn’t want her exposed to Bryce and Riley. There was no way he could handle seeing her naked body and remain in control. If he pounced like he wanted, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that she would run scared.

  Instead, he bit Riley’s head off, and then made a quick exit.

  Amy looked over at Lauren, and shot her a wink. Lauren rolled her eyes, ignoring what she knew her best friend was trying to insinuate. Why was everyone so hell bent on her getting back with Connor? How could they be positive he was interested after all these years?

  Standing up, she grabbed some of the empty dishes and made her way to the kitchen. Amy followed her cue, and was hot on her heels.

  Connor gave them both a curt nod after he swallowed the last of his water, as he set the glass in the sink. Without a single word, he followed Bryce and Riley out the backdoor to watch his cousin show off his latest toy: a ’69 Camaro that Connor was letting him store in the garage.

  While they were cleaning up, Amy decided to pry a little more, practically forcing Lauren to repeat the conversation she’d had with Connor before everyone arrived. “Hey, are you going to tell me what was really going on with you and Connor when I got here?” She nudged Lauren with her hip.

  “You’re not going to let it go until I do, are you?”

  Amy smiled. “Nope, I’m not. Ergo, it would probably be better if you got it all off your chest now.”

  Lauren relented, recounting Connor’s confession and apology. “The crazy thing is, I almost believe him,” she admitted.

  “People change, Lauren. They grow up. You can either hold childish mistakes against him forever, making yourself miserable in the process, or you can forgive him and see where it goes. It’s no secret that you still have feelings for each other.”